Two years ago I wrote a blog post titled “I Hate Taper Week.”
Here I am again four days out from my fifth Napa Valley Marathon and my 39th marathon taper week. I went into this week once again hating taper week with its decreased mileage, nervous energy, phantom leg pains, and OCD eating. But something changed on day three.
Grappling with mild hip pain, yesterday I “forced” myself to just walk where normally I would be running at a spot I affectionately call my Happy Place. The reservoir, nestled in the hills of Lafayette with spectacular views of Mt. Diablo, is now my go-to for hill training, speed work, and really any distance run. For reference, I never walk for training. It doesn’t fit in my training plans, and I can’t technically log the miles in my app. I mean, I could; but then I feel like I’m cheating.
My Happy Place aka The Lafayette Reservoir has been my trusty training partner since I began this crazy running journey in 2008. But even before that, we shared many moments together.
The first time was when my now sister-in-law Alice very literally dragged me out of bed to go for our first run together in an effort to drop a few pounds before my wedding. After this tortuous routine went on for weeks, Alice lost ten pounds and I gained four. My wedding dress became too snug and my attitude on running even less comfortable and more annoying.
When I look back, many of my Happy Place memories involve trying to lose weight or maintain some form of fitness. Two kids later, in an effort to shed pregnancy fat, the reservoir trails again became my trusted training companion. But not without a few mishaps. Like the time I let go of the double stroller for truly a millisecond, and the stroller with my first born child went rolling into the ditch below. To this day, I can still hear Natalie screaming up until the moment a large bush stopped the stroller from flipping over or careening into the reservoir itself. Not my proudest mom moment; but in my defense, child #2 had been begging to walk alongside me instead of staying in the stroller with her sister. Is it my fault Meagan dropped her bottle and when I bent down to pick it up to prevent it from rolling off the path, Natalie decided at that moment to make the ride an E ticket instead of an A ticket ride? (Disneyland reference, if you’re under the age of 40.)
Misery loves company. Over the years I have made concerted efforts to bring my loved ones into my fitness obsession. My powers of persuasion often yielded wonderful family hikes at my Happy Place. But occasionally, the weather thwarted my best intentions. Like the time I insisted the weather forecast was wrong and even if it wasn’t, the threat of thunder and lightning would motivate us to finish faster. Is it my fault that it started to hail heavily halfway around the reservoir? FYI, park porta-potties will keep you from being pelted to death by marble-sized hail.
If you’re starting to wonder how exactly I started referring to the Lafayette Reservoir as my Happy Place after what seems to be many not-so-happy experiences, I think it just came to me one day when I least expected it.
I can’t remember for which race I was training; I just remember I had been struggling with some life choices and attitudes at the time. Nothing like a good run to relieve stress. But it was more than that.
It was my wrestling with some “hills” and “unexpected turns” in my life and quite literally crying out to Jesus during my run for direction, strength, peace, joy, and forgiveness.
Upon reaching the summit of several hills, I was greeted with such magnificent views that seemed to assault all my senses in the best way possible. I actually started to cry. Nothing about my circumstances had changed; life questions still hanging in the balance. God just took the focus off of me and back onto Him where it should have been from the start. The tears rolling down my cheeks were a salty blend of feeling humbled, feeling awed by the beauty of His creation, feeling overjoyed, and feeling sadness for all the times I’d missed out on Jesus wanting to spend time with me like this.
Yesterday my taper walk was three miles of exhaling me and inhaling Jesus.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30 ESV
I noticed details along the way that I had never seen in the thirty years I have been traveling these exact same trails. I never bring my phone with me when I run; but I did yesterday since I was only walking. Pictures can’t capture the depth of the moment and how a view spoke to me. But I took some photos anyway. It didn’t hurt that yesterday was a perfectly gorgeous sunny day with barely a cloud in the sky.
Each time I saw a sight such as early spring blossoms or newly emerging grass along paths that were muddy only a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but thank God for His goodness. I passed a few elderly couples, teens, and young moms along the way and was reminded to pray for my own aging parents as well as the urgent needs of a friend whose daughter is in the hospital experiencing great pain. An American flag flies high at the main entrance of the reservoir. My recent trips to the reservoir have been cold, rainy, and windy rendering this flag viciously flying for the duration. Yesterday, it was barely moving and not unfurled to its complete glory. I was reminded to pray for our country. All the times I have just passed by this flag without a second thought…
As I finished up with some stretches, I saw an empty bench behind me facing the lush green hills and glistening water. It was then that I did something I have never done in my thirty years of going to the reservoir. I sat down on the bench.
It felt strange at first and like everyone was staring at me. I actually pretended to do more stretches on the bench so as to not look out of place. Because who just sits on a bench?
When I finished my pretend stretches, I settled into a comfortable position and allowed myself to just be still, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin. I closed my eyes which somehow intensified the warmth. Once again, I exhaled more of me and inhaled more of Jesus.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 ESV
Ah, my new metaphor for taper week! Stop focusing on the stuff I think I should or shouldn’t be doing, and shift my attention to what God has already done in and around me. All the weeks and miles of training, all the carbo-loading, all the checking race day weather forecasts to determine my race attire…
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” Matthew 6:25-27 ESV
As for taper week, I think I might actually start enjoying it.
