“Jesus wept.”  John 11:35 NIV

As a former elementary school teacher in a Christian school, I admit I used to joke about that famous verse in the Bible. Famous for being the shortest. Students would remind me of this fact when it was time for those long Scripture memorization quizzes. One year I thought about assigning that verse…on April 1st.

I’ve never been good at memorizing. When I had to give presentations in school or at work, I literally wrote out what I wanted to say verbatim for fear that if I forgot something, I’d veer treacherously off track.

When I was a sophomore in high school and introduced to a dynamic, loving church youth group, it was there that I first opened up a Bible. I had no clue how to go about “reading” the Bible much less how to use one for its intended purpose of knowing God better. I’m not sure when exactly I got it in my head that I needed to memorize Scripture. It just seemed like everyone at church could quote verses and even use them in meaningful, encouraging ways.

Fast forward thirty-five years…

I’m still bad at memorizing things of significant length. But with regards to the truly important stuff, God has used running as the most effective memorization tool. After all, one simply cannot tote around notes or a big heavy Bible whilst running. So He went one step better and gave me His Holy Spirit to remind me at the most critical, opportune moments of key points from His Word:

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”  John 14:26 NIV

Last week’s hill training run is a good example. I wasn’t “feeling it” when I got to the reservoir. I’m usually excited to be at my happy place, but that morning I was just feeling bleh. I thought the cooler temps would be motivation enough since it had been over 110 degrees the previous week. It was definitely cooler but still humid. I will take dry, high temps over any amount of humidity any day. As soon as I hit the first big hill, I heard footsteps behind me. Those footsteps quickly materialized into several young men in blue fire department shirts and shorts holding giant yellow walkie-talkies. It crossed my mind for a split second to try to keep their pace. Then I heard laughter. No, it wasn’t coming from those strapping young firemen. It was coming from common sense.

As they blew past me on their own training run, I was humbled as I pictured them in full gear and oxygen tanks running into a burning forest or building risking their own lives to potentially save one. With this image in my head, I prayed for their safety. Verses about God’s hand of protection came to mind. The rest of that day’s hill run was filled with more prayers as God kept bringing people and situations to mind. Verses about continual, persistent prayer, persevering through trials, putting on the full armor of God, courage over fear, peace, strength, and healing accompanied each step and breath. I couldn’t stop. At one point, it felt like my heart would burst from being reminded of so many people that needed prayer. It felt like each person was not only on my mind but now flooding my heart. There are times I cry out “God, how do you handle all this? I can’t even take the few you’ve placed on my heart today, yet you know and hear the cries of seven billion of us all at once!” Humbling for sure.

Funny thing about being humbled. It’s actually a good place to be since THIS is how God can best reach us. Perhaps this is why when I’m running I can hear God so clearly. Running has humbled me more often and more consistently than anything else. Check in on me at Mile 20 of any marathon and you’ll see. I used to think the definition of being humble was self-degradation. (“I’ll never be as good as so-and-so.” “I’m not worthy of that promotion.” “Why would anyone like me?”) Years ago I heard or read – can’t remember where – the definition of humble as “knowing who you are in relation to God.” I’ve also heard it put as “seeing yourself as God sees you.”

On that hill run, one verse kept coming to mind which I don’t usually share because I used to think it wouldn’t be very humble of me to do so. It was from James 5:16.

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” NIV

I realize I have hesitated to share this verse for fear of coming across as arrogant or boastful. It is because of one word in the verse: righteous. I even “version-surfed” to see if there was a more palatable word, but most still say “righteous.”

“The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” ESV

“The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” NASB

“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” NKJV

Knowing that I was wrong about the word “humble,” I had to look up the word “righteous” and debunk my previous mindset of the association with the term “self-righteous.” Turns out that humble and righteous kind of go hand-in-hand as I found these versions of the same verse:

“The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.” MSG

“When a believing person prays, great things happen.” NCV

Okay, who among us wouldn’t want their prayers to be powerful and produce great things? But most people would not openly refer to themselves as righteous. However, I have found during runs being able to come pretty close as running often empties me of that which normally crowds God out and allows more of Him in.

PC: Sallie Arellano

Some days, the stuff God brings to mind intersects with an especially magnificent view. Those moments have brought me to tears. I long for more of those.

If you’ve read some of my posts from earlier this year, you know that it’s been a rather emotional one. Lots of tears. Big ugly ones. Some hormonal, for sure. But in my defense, lots of life changes went down this year. I’m also embarrassed to say I have cried at the dumbest things as well. Like that Geico commercial with the microwave burrito and “Final Countdown” song which reminded me of Meagan’s senior year final band concert.

This year God used my emotions and tears to bring relevance to the verse I used to skim over and even joked about. “Jesus wept.” It comes from the passage in Scripture detailing the death of Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha. You don’t need to be a Bible scholar to know that this is the famous “raising Lazarus from the tomb” account. It’s even become a household football term used when a team or player miraculously pulls out a win or resurrects a career against all circumstances and odds. But I digress.

What I never paid attention to before was the moment when Jesus actually wept.

‘When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”’ John 11:33-36 NIV

But why then? After all, Lazarus had already been dead four days when Jesus finally arrived at Mary and Martha’s home. He had already received the news before then. Plus, being the Son of God and all, He already knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the tomb and there would be a happy ending. So why did He cry when He did? Or at all?

I’m no Bible scholar and still feel uncomfortable using the words humble and righteous, but I think Jesus wept at that precise moment for me to know how much I am loved. He wants me to know that He not only sees my tears but also feels them Himself. Why is this important? I believe it is crucial in my faith that He can and will answer my prayers. And that He will do so in ways that undeniably prove He was there when I was crying out.

Reminds me of when both Natalie and Meagan have texted me asking for their social security numbers. (You’d think being adults now that they’d write it down somewhere.) I like to mess with them a little and text back “How do I know this is really you?” They respond with a very specific, personal, and even embarrassing event that ONLY I would know about.

When I actually think about how differently I respond when I am with someone who is grieving versus reading about it or seeing it third hand from a friend of a friend on Facebook, I start to get a glimpse into how important our emotions are to God. And His presence. So important that the only way to deeply feel what we feel was to give us not just a written, duplicated version of Himself but His actual 100% undiluted self aka the Holy Spirit.

God has highlighted key words, given depth and meaning to obscure passages, as well as transformed incorrect patterns of thought during my runs. All for my benefit. Because He knows me so well. And knows I’m bad at memorizing. It brings me to tears when I think about the lengths He goes to so that I know the depth of His love.