I’m having a hard time letting go of 2019.

When I hung that first medal up on New Year’s Day, I pictured that “NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE” theme very differently. I pictured new race PR’s and a few more age group medals. Instead, I ran half the number of races from previous years and my s-l-o-w-e-s-t marathons ever. By a lot. I deferred Chicago and CIM to 2020. I missed Dirty Dozen, my fave “loopy race.” I didn’t qualify in number of races for the Brazen Ultra Half Series for the first time since its inception. I ran four grueling races with a giant knee brace. I was super close to not running my 11th straight SF Marathon.

And I almost quit running entirely. 

With about three hours left of 2019 and those medals coming down, I just realized “NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE” meant something else. It meant laying down my own timing, hopes, abilities, pride, and comfort zones. It meant digging deep for reasons to get outta bed some mornings. It meant reaching high to climb outta dark, depressing moments. It meant writing the final paragraph of one chapter so another chapter could begin. 

All that was possible ONLY by God’s saving grace, mercy, and strength.

Philippians 3:12-14 says to not look back, but instead look forward and press on with Jesus (paraphrased). That doesn’t mean forget important lessons, emotionally searing events, or loved ones no longer here. Maybe I don’t wanna let 2019 go cuz I’m still hanging on to stuff. Okay, yeah, my dad. Okay…breeeeathe. Stop crying already. Or go ahead and ugly cry. It’s okay. I’m okay. Really.

Lots of unknowns in 2020. So much already for which to be thankful and look forward. It’s all about perspective. And knowing the things that are possible thru Jesus are the most worthwhile.

Wishing you all God’s best, trusting in Him for the impossible, and seeing His perspective for the new year. See you in 2020, friends.