I rarely eat fried chicken, but when I do it better be worth the calories. That can be said of any decadent splurge foods. After experiencing THE BEST fried chicken in Alabama two years ago, Dave and I will forever judge food by that standard: “Yeah, but is it Hattie B’s good?” Seriously, Hattie B’s has ruined any and all other fried chicken we’ll ever eat in our lifetimes. We tried the #8 ranked fried chicken in the country after running the San Francisco Marathon this summer – which was reeeeeally good – but not Hattie B’s good.

Last night, we had another “ruined all others” moment. This time it was chicken pot pie. Yep, thank you Indianapolis based Pots & Pans Pie Co. for ruining another splurge food for us. And while we’re talking about Indy, Dave can no longer enjoy California steaks after his first Midwest Tomahawk rib eye at Eddie Merlot’s years ago. So last night after devouring my scratch-made pot pie with fresh chicken and veggies, perfect gravy to meat ratio, and melt in your mouth crust, I sat back in my chair and said to Dave, “I just got the theme for my next blogpost!”

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good…!” Psalm 34:8 NKJV

I needed that morsel of Scripture goodness. I’ve been in a major strugfest battle-of-the mind this week about whether to run a certain race this Saturday. The decision should really be a 100% no-brainer since I likely have knee bursitis. It’s flared up a few times after April’s treacherous trail 50K but was fine during San Francisco Marathon in July and several other races after. This week it’s been the most swollen and painful it’s ever been after getting off the plane in Indy Monday afternoon. I’ve been icing, elevating, and resting my right knee all week. *Thank you Southwest Airlines for the massive bag of ice which meant some passengers didn’t get ice for their drinks. Oops, sorry.

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Is running this Saturday really still a debate?

Yes, but only because if I miss this race I am out of contention for the Ultra Half Series Championship and maintaining my eight year streak. I have never cut it this close with number of qualifying races, but due to some scheduling conflicts this season, my last two qualifiers are the next two Saturdays before the big championship race at the end of the month.

Friends. Family. Normal people. Level-headed thinkers. Five year olds. Someone not being held hostage or questioned under duress. These are all people who’d say “Don’t do it.”

While my effort would certainly be valiant, I could potentially cause irreparable knee damage. But I could also experience God’s miraculous healing and strength to finish unscathed – victorious with massive coaster medal in hand. You see, once you’ve experienced a championship race like this one, it’s awfully hard to give it up. Undeniably the most challenging course – it’s called an ULTRA for a reason. But the views, the ascents, the descents, the camaraderie with fellow series runners, the satisfaction as you tear down that last hill knowing the finish line is around the corner makes all the pain go away.

Doesn’t sound all that crazy, right? As I typed that last sentence, I’m once again talking myself back into it.

Would it be THAT bad? If it’s not bad, it must be good.

Ahhh, more Scripture just came to mind:

‘As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”

The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”’ Luke 10:38-42 MSG

Jesus was the ultimate foodie. I mean c’mon, feeding the five thousand with five loaves and two fish, turning water to wine – and you better believe it wasn’t the cheap stuff.

In this famous scene with Martha and Mary, the takeaway is choosing GOOD vs BEST. Sure, you can criticize Mary for not pulling her weight around the kitchen or Martha for being OCD; but in this scenario, Mary came out on top for choosing what was BEST. As with any decision, a choice for one thing means letting go of the other. Mary let go of her immediate circumstances, urgent tasks at hand, actions with visible results, and need to please others. None of which were bad. In fact, they were all good. The problem is you might be missing out on potentially what’s BEST in the long run by tending to what’s good in the short run. Pretty sure no one’s talking about how clean Martha’s house was or the amazing dinner she whipped up. That “main course” Jesus spoke of was foodie speak for THE BEST. Mary chose to sit with Jesus and take in everything He came to her house to say INSTEAD of running around checking off a to-do list like Martha.

Am I willing to drop everything and sit at Jesus’ feet? Do I believe He wants to speak to me, but maybe I’m missing it being focused on other things?

Mary got to have Jesus to herself for an afternoon. How could anything top THAT experience? But she would have missed it had she stuck with her original schedule.

I know if I somehow managed to hobble my way up to the starting line this Saturday, I would be 100% obsessed with all the ways I could tweak my knee the entire time. I’d be constantly looking down, scanning, worried about making cut-off times, not enjoying the scenery or friends along the way. Having run this course several other years, it’s tough even on two fully healthy knees. As much as I don’t want to give up this Saturday’s race or the ultra championship, I don’t want to give up potentially many more years of running God’s race even more. Sure, I’ve run over 200 races – 52 of them marathons. Many were filled with checklists, pace strips, goals, and agendas – not a bad thing. I’ve also tasted what it’s like to run near 100% with Jesus. Nothing is as satisfying or rewarding. Nothing even comes close.

“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see— how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.” Psalm 34:8 MSG

The Mini Cooper service waiting lounge is strategically located right next to the showroom with shiny, new, souped-up 2020 models. My 2016 looks truly mini compared to its new siblings on steroids sporting way more technology, size, bells and whistles than I will ever need. Pretty new colors, too. Tempting.

It’s here that I finished reading the book I originally bought for my dad. Not for him to read – for me to read TO him while he’s in skilled nursing. It’s hard for him to read these days. He used to love reading the paper every morning as well as his Bible and daily devotionals. I find it strange dad doesn’t want to watch or listen to the TV in his room or go to any of the resident activities like singing or bingo. Strange because he spends almost 24/7 in his room and always talks about leaving or being stuck in bed.

One of my absolute favorite activities as an elementary school teacher was reading to my class. Perennial faves were Chronicles of Narnia, Tale of Despereaux, and Charlotte’s Web. So after a rather depressing visit with dad (more because I was depressed), I made a trip to my local Barnes and Noble to find a book dad might enjoy me reading to him. I ventured to several different sections ranging from sports to inspirational to classic novels to children’s literature. Nothing grabbed me. I gave up and headed out passing by numerous best seller displays. Then the last table near the front door caught my eye. Discounted books. I was surprised to see Max Lucado’s name. I enjoyed reading his children’s series to my classes. The title now staring up at me was Traveling Light – The Promise of Psalm 23. Funny since I had been reading that famous Psalm to dad the past few weeks. Perfect! And it was on sale for $7.98. I couldn’t wait to start reading it to dad.

The next day I headed over to dad’s skilled nursing facility with the book and a level of excitement I hadn’t had since he was admitted on July 12th. We would now have wonderful, meaningful visits together instead of the same conversations with me making small talk about the weather and sports. “How ’bout those A’s, dad!” Silence.

To my great disappointment, I didn’t get past Chapter One. Dad was completely uninterested. In fact, my reading seemed to agitate him. In retrospect, I think he didn’t understand why I was reading to him. He wanted to go back to the same conversations as in our previous visits. How’s Natalie? How’s Meagan? When are they getting married?

I left that day feeling defeated and thinking “Good thing the book was on sale.” I got home and put it on our coffee table since the cover was kind of pretty not intending to actually ever read it.

You know where this is going.

The book kept staring at me. Okay, okay, I’ll give it another chance. If I’m being completely honest (hate when people say that), I was in a dark place. My loneliness and depression had hit an all time low that week. Dave was out of town again for business. The weight of my parents’ health situation and handling their finances was coming down hard. The weight of it all. It felt hard to breathe at times. All the papers I’ve signed on their behalf this summer with the words “responsible party” under my name got me thinking the worst. What IF this and what IF that? Historically, I’m really not a worst case scenario type of thinker. I’m not even a long term planner. “Long term” in my mind is registering for a marathon a year in advance to get the early bird discount.

Well, the Cliff notes (do they still make those?) version is that God unraveled Psalm 23 for me through this discount book in a way that addressed just about everything I was carrying around but couldn’t articulate in words. God just knows how to get my attention. It’s like the warning light in my car that came on which prompted me to take it in for service. Too bad people don’t come equipped with warning lights. Or do they? Pretty sure I’ve ignored most of mine this year since I have found myself in almost debilitating conditions with desperate need of roadside assistance.

Ironically, I was afraid to read Chapter 12 “From Panic to Peace – The Burden of Fear.” And then dreading Chapter 13 “Silent Nights and Solitary Days – The Burden of Loneliness.” Those two chapters struck quite a few chords.

“I will fear no evil.”

Psalm 23:4 is not just something you whisper before boarding a plane, public speaking, opening a VISA bill, or hearing a doctor’s diagnosis. It’s a decision to not be afraid and proving it. This picture just flashed before me of that time my sixth grade tribe of four dared each other to start our own Judy Blume Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret club. I was afraid they wouldn’t be my friends if I didn’t join (honestly, I thought the whole thing sounded stupid), but I did it anyway.

The problem with conquering fears – whether it’s pre-teen peer acceptance or my parents outliving their money – is that deciding to eliminate fear is not enough. Imagine if these fears filled a suitcase – sometimes crammed to the point where you have to sit on it to get it fully zipped. Intellectually I know it’s not healthy to carry around all this excess baggage. I’ve emptied my bag – quite often at Jesus’ feet. But what replaced those fears? Or did I just carry around an empty suitcase?

I want these words that follow “I will fear no evil” to fill my suitcase:

“For You are with me.”

Imagine now if that bag is filled with God’s presence in the form of His word, His faithfulness, His grace, His mercy, His comfort, His provision, His healing, His redemption… Somehow everything fits this time without breaking the zipper. Surprisingly, it’s even lighter.

Heading out the door now to catch my flight to Orange County. Running my 16th mother-daughter half marathon with Natalie this weekend followed by a trip to Disneyland. Oh wait, almost forgot to pack this – don’t worry, there’s room:

“The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Psalm 23 NKJV